i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
