Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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