God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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