there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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