I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
