Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
