every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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