Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
