the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
