I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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