Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
