I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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