I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
