Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
