I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
