his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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