Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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