Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize