do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
a search helicopter?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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