Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
