The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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