can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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