I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
