I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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