The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize