dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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