Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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