Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
