Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
