Define "chronic" masturbator.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
