East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
