We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
