oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize