His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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