Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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