if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you win again, gameday.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
