I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
