Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This can only be settled by a dance off.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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