just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She bit a glass in half.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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