Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
