Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
