there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
