dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
