Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
