It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
