): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
