Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize