His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
