i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize