So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's get the cat blown out
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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