you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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