im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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