don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
