The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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