Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
