I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
