dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
