Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He did a backflip because drugs
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
