don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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