I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
