hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
