he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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