It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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