Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
