Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
