well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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