READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
