that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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