She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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