Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
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afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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