Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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