kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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