My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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