So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
