I wish I could punch you in the face.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
